early morning

the nagging pain from deep inside me is still there, my cough is worse. i hope i am getting better.

all this stuff has taught me a lot about myself. i will not compromise who i am. i think things are on their way, a new day has dawned, so they say.

realizations are sometimes hard to deal with, or should i say, they are always hard to deal with, because they almost always entail work, or changing something that you are comfortable with.

just call me a space cowboy. the pompitudes of love.

where disappointment and regret collide

i have thus far lost 20lbs. while the last 8 or so have been incredibly unhealthily lost in about 2 days, i am going to take it as a triumph and keep as much of it off, and continue to lose as much as i can.

i am going to be okay. don't worry about me. its not me that needs the worry, or the support right now. i have a lot of support around me. i want him to be better. healthy, happy, right.

i've come to terms with a lot of things. i am not ready to give up on him. if it takes me going away to fix him, thats what i'll do, but i can never stop caring or trying to help.

there are people out there who want to sabotage him and create chaos where there should be order. its too easy that way. i don't know if he would ever get better. i wish with all my heart for him to get better. happiness can't come without some sadness. happiness doesn't exist without its mirror. don't expect it to be easy.